XCC: A Conversation on Healthy Masculinity

As you’ll have seen from our website and regular updates, we have James Ray from Xtreme Character Challenge (XCC) coming to be with us at EBC on Sunday 15th September. James is the leader of XCC and the last time I spoke with him face to face we were on a mountain top in Scotland! This week I caught up with James via Zoom (which was much more comfortable) and we talked about his upcoming visit. We’re both really excited (I should explain that James is a bit like me, only much younger and dialled up to 11) about the opportunity EBC and XCC will have when he joins us, and how that might serve us as we move forward with our men’s ministry and as a Restored ‘Beacon’ church.

Instead of a short interview and a sermon, James and I have agreed to do have an extended conversation on healthy (as opposed to toxic) masculinity, which will include plenty of time for Q & A with everyone. I’ve asked James to bring along plenty of copies of his brand-new book, Responsibility, which I thoroughly recommend, and to do a book-signing session after the service, before we all enjoy a BBQ together. In our conversation, we’ll be talking about some of the issues raised within Responsibility – which are, of course, just the sorts of things that guys who experience an XCC adventure will find themselves grappling with together out in the wilderness! Questions like these:

• How can men balance godly tenderness with our inner fierceness – are we supposed to be gentle ‘gardeners’ or fierce ‘guardians’… or might we be both?
• How do we know right from wrong – and is everything always the way we see it or might we still get it wrong even if we’re sure we’re right?
• Being sorry and being forgiving. What does strong look like when things go wrong? How might we best proceed when error, pride, hurt feelings and blame all start butting heads?
• Power and powerlessness. How do we hold our masculine power well around others – and what do we do when we’re actually powerless before something or someone?
• Connection and abandonment. What do healthy relationships look like? With whom should we connect, and who should we let go?
• Fun and healthiness. What does it mean to take ownership of our activity, nourishment and rest so that we get the balance right in our spiritual, mental, emotional, relational and physical fitness? What example do we want to set to younger guys, and our children, in all these areas?
• First and last. What is most important to you and what is the place of sacrifice within that? What does success look like – and what are you going to do about it?
• Sons and Fathers. Who are your heroes and what do you most admire about them? What example do you want to give and is the man you want to be seen as the same as the man in the mirror? Who do you want to be, really?

I am certain that this conversation – and James’s book – will get us all thinking and talking! James has loads of incredible real-life stories to share which I’m sure will move us emotionally, but both James and I want to do more than move you to tears – we want to move you to action! So, straight from XCC’s website, is a call to action:

Join us in the Welsh Mountains in October 2024 for an XTREME CHARACTER CHALLENGE - a mind body soul adventure - an active and challenging endurance event for men, out in the wild, that changes lives.

• Are you looking for a challenge?
• Are you ready to live for purpose.
• It's time to change. It's time to become the man you were made to be.

XTREME CHARACTER CHALLENGE will start on Thursday 10th October 2024 on location at 20:00. Events will finish by 15:00 on location on Sunday 13th.

The published cost of taking part is £260.00 but for those of us brave enough to sign up here at EBC when James is with us (that’s Sunday 15th September), he is offering a £49.00 discount! So much then, for the financial cost… but there’s another cost and having been on an XCC wilderness adventure last year, I’m tempted to promise you “blood, toil, tears and sweat” (well, maybe not the blood!) but I can also promise you that it’s worth it!!! To prove it, if any guys from EBC sign up, I’ll be right there with you, so at least you know you have a friendly face and a shoulder to lean on if it gets tough… which it probably will… 😊

I recognise that there are some very genuine reasons why people might be unable to come, including:

• It’s for men only!
• Age, infirmity or other medical issues may prevent you.
• The timing or financial side of things might be tricky.
• You’re just plain chicken.

The good news is that you might still be able to help and encourage other people to take part – and others may help you! Please do come along on the 15th and hear what James has to say – and ask him some questions yourself. My hope is that everyone who comes will chip in a few quid for the BBQ (it’s free, so no obligation) or just to help others so they can afford to come. We’ll collect any donations and use it to make things more affordable for those who want to come but would struggle to do so if cost is the issue.

So, here are some next steps – invite someone to come with you to EBC at 10am on Sunday 15th September. Make sure you check thoroughly check out the XCC website and do your absolute best to make yourself available from Thursday 10th to Sunday 13th October – and check out the guidance and required kit-list for the trip. Finally, get ready for the adventure of your life – because that’s exactly what XCC will help you to do!